I just finished writing an entire blog and before I posted it, I deleted the entire thing. I have never done that, at least not since starting this whole thing months ago. Words, just gone, never to placed in the same order or with the same feel ever again. Blinked out of existence with a single keystroke. I feel is if I ought to mourn the loss of thought, or an idea, or at the very least, the loss of words, but I feel no such remorse. I am numb to it all. Those words I destroyed were trapped in my head, then they we freed briefly while being typed onto this page, but there they would remain, from one prison to another. Perhaps I did them a favor.
That I even thought that pains me, words and thoughts and ideas are meant to be shared, not dispersed into nothingness mere moments after there creation. Still, tonight something is wrong.
Nothing soothes me, though I am exhausted.
I guess it is another night with my new friend melatonin. I wonder if it actually does anything at all and if it does, how long before that doesn't even work.
Oh well, goodnight I suppose.
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