I haven't written here in awhile, things have been busy.
Over the past few weeks I've helped another person that I care about leave my life, at least temporarily, but who knows.
Still, it is for the better and I know that it needs to be done for said person to find happiness and I am honored and happy that I was able to play a role in them getting to that point.
I feel no anger or ill-will, but I must admit, I am fast growing tired of being so good at what I do and so patient. Part of me wishes I didn't understand and I could be irrational and upset about the turn of events, but I cannot, because I do understand.
If I could have acted differently or not been so encouraging and understanding, I might be sleeping better tonight, but I had to do what was best in the hopes that it turns out positive in the end. This feeling and the returning sleeplessness are worth it though, every moment has been worth it.
I am not unhappy, merely thoughtful and vigilant. I have so much on my mind and so much wanting to get out. I am surrounded by people who love and care for me and life overall really isn't bad. I'm going to use these next few weeks during the holidays. I am going to get these thoughts out and into words and I am going to remain patient and vigilant but not reclusive.
So once more unto the breach I go. This all too familiar feeling of hope and sadness. I have felt it far too many times this year, but I carry on. I do have hope though, more than I have had in a long time. Everything that has happened recently has given me that hope, along with several great conversations. So I carry on.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost
No comments:
Post a Comment