Press Shuffle

Tonight has been rough, I have had very little sleep and a long day of work, the combination usually makes for even longer, sleepless nights. I finally broke down, swallowed my pride, and called the "24 hour help service" that my works provides. 2 a.m. walking in the rain, knowing most anyone I could call would be sleeping or working, or I already tried and nobody answered. I reached the point of no return and called the number on the card. Six rings, no answer, just a machine. . . No one was on the other line! The last resort, the one thing I was supposed to be able to count on ended up being a machine! It was laughable, in a way it may have helped more than any person could have. Still, I was pretty down and out at that point, the rain picked up a bit so I put my hood up and turned to another machine for guidance.

I pulled my iPod out of my pocket, put the headphones on and simply pressed shuffle. Now, I don't know if Skynet became self-aware while I was at work today, but my iPod seemed to know exactly the songs I needed to hear, even songs I had forgotten about. I continued walking in the rain, now screaming out lyrics to familiar and long forgotten songs. My lungs burned and my throat cracked by the end of it all, but I truly felt peaceful. Not exactly better, but at peace, serenity in song.

I've always found it amazing how people relate to music and how it can brighten or dampen virtually any mood. Maybe that is why songs lyrics litter social networking sites, it allows people to express how they feel without actually saying it to anyone and in words that they may have otherwise never chosen. Music and lyrics are powerful weapons, weapons that we let so many wield. I wonder if those who wield, the very skilled from the beginner, know how important their weapons are in humanities fight against itself. Those who are unarmed use the wielder's skills as armor, a voice to say the things they cannot, or dare not speak aloud.

Now I sit here, serenity still entwined, hope to find rest soon and a better day upon its' heels. As I stare at my computer screen and prepare to post this, I realize that my night was accompanied by three machines. Three machines that kept me company and though they have done well, it truly is no substitute for people who care. Thank you to everyone who has been sticking it out with me these last few months, it does mean a lot.